I won't go through all the grim details of the day and night of 29 December 2012, but by the time it was all over I was absolutely reeling, in deep physical and emotional shock, and near death. It was like living through a scene in one of those poorly acted, B-grade horror flicks that show on late night television. My battle for survival could be likened to the struggle of a drowning man, 200 feet underwater, with his lungs screaming for air, who can see the surface of the sea, far above, and who knows that if he can only hang on, and keep from blacking out, and keep struggling upward, upward, upward, just stay awake and keep moving up and up and up to the surface where he can fill his lungs with air, that he will make it, if only he can hang on and keep moving up to the light and the surface. I struggled for hours, in tremendous pain and confusion and shock, and finally it was over.
It wasn't until much later that I began to come to terms with the reality that I had almost died, so harsh was the treatment that I endured. At one point the shaman came with a syringe and hypodermic needle and told me that he had to inject me. I was face down in the dirt beneath one of the houses on the finca, immobilized, incapable of even rolling over at that point. I had my face turned to the side and could see the needle and syringe that he held in his hand by the light of the flashlight. I told him, "No," that I did not want an injection, whereupon he proceeded to inject me anyway, against my will. With what, I could not say. Monkey piss? Cow urine? Weed killer? Curare? You tell me, because I don't know.
My body was so traumatized afterward that I did not urinate for two days. I didn't defecate for four days. I had multiple, painful contusions, and actual bubbles on my skin due to the internal lesions that I sustained. The first day, I could not even roll over in bed unaided, so great was the pain and swelling. I could not independently stand up or walk. The thighs and core area of my body were laced with many welts. The nights were the worst. The pain did not begin to abate for about six to eight weeks, and though I still have some pain in my lower extremities, it is much less severe than one year ago. I can now stand unaided, and walk clumsily. But the feeling in my feet, ankles and calves still has not fully returned. After 13 months of rehabilitation I can now raise one toe out of ten, the big toe on my right foot. One down, nine to go. I will regain the full movement in my toes one by one. I can raise my right foot partially, and rotate the ankle, but it lacks normal strength. The ankle and foot are still weak. On the left side, I cannot yet raise the foot, or any of the toes, and cannot fully rotate the ankle. But that is coming along. I have much more feeling than I did a year ago, and at least some movement in the foot. Even though my feet and ankles are weak, unstable and lack normal, positive reactions, I can nevertheless walk, albeit slowly and awkwardly and always paying close attention to the conditions of the pavement. I have come a long way in the last year.
A number of people have suggested that there may be a hidden hand in what happened to me, that one of the USSA government alphabet soup agencies may have some concealed involvement. I have considered that possibility and cannot say one way or the other. It is highly probably that my underground and underwater bases research, my blogging and my anti-nuclear activism have all put me on one or more "watch lists" of the DHS, FBI, CIA, DIA, NSA, etc. But would they go to the trouble to conspire with a shaman in the Ecuadorian Amazon to assault me? Maybe. One of my friends thinks the BATF was involved, that they are running some kind of operation in the Amazon.
Could be. I don't run in those circles, so who knows? In the province where I was living, the two USSA government agencies with contracts that I noticed were the Peace Corps and USAID. Both of these agencies are either known for, or suspected of, clandestine cooperation with the CIA in various operations over the years, for obvious reasons -- both agencies have personnel and/or operations and contracts in rural areas of developing countries. Like the area where I was living, for instance.
Then, too, in the months before my assault, two "ex"-Army men came to the finca to drink malicagua and/or ayahuasca. I actually do not know how "ex" they were, only that they both had some sort of tie with the USSA Army. This was not the only, or first time that I encountered the trail of USSA military involvement or interest, direct or indirect, in South American shamanism. The fact is that there is a sort of loose reconnaissance, if you will, of Amazonian shamanism by certain individuals and agencies affiliated with the USSA military. It is not benign, because the agencies and individuals themselves are not benign. The USSA military is a real serious force of deep darkness on this planet.
So was USSA Army Intelligence (I know, I know, Army Intelligence is an oxymoron) involved in what happened to me? Did someone affiliated with the USSA military send around a couple of "ex"-military operatives to lay the groundwork to bushwhack Richard Sauder?
I simply do not know. I can't rule it in or out. All I can say is that they were there and interacted with the shaman and also talked with me a little.
The Bottom Line
At the end of the day my two immediate objectives with specific regard to the attack against me are: 1) to bring my assailant to justice and 2) to recuperate and heal emotionally and physically.
As regards the first point, I have brought a criminal complaint against the shaman. I have retained legal counsel in Quito to assist me with the cumbersome justice system here in Ecuador. In order to successfully prosecute and bring the case to trial I will need to pay my attorneys several thousand more dollars. I have already paid them several thousands, but that is the nature of the world in which we live. Given the totality of my circumstances, It has been extremely difficult for me to raise all of the money. I have a pressing need right now for $3,000 to bring the case to trail. It is important, not just for me, but for others. Shamanic corruption is an ongoing issue in the Amazon. There are some really ugly and vicious crimes being committed, but there are very few arrests and convictions. People are intimidated into silence by the threat of retaliation, or for want of financial resources to retain legal counsel, or both. I am the rare man who has stood up and is struggling to address the corruption, by publicly bringing a criminal complaint.
Won't you please help me in my pursuit of justice in the Amazon? I really do need your help and I am asking for it plainly. I you can help me, please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org for how to send me a financial donation. If you have Bitcoin I gratefully accept donations at Bitcoin address:
As regards my physical and emotional recuperation, I am doing a lot of walking, as much as my feet and ankles will allow, without weakening them further. I also am getting a full eight hours of sleep every night.
I was hospitalized more than four months, but now that I am out of the hospital I am doing more and more work with subliminal suggestions and binaural beats and isochronic tones. I am endeavoring to reprogram my subconscious, the better to deal with the trauma I sustained and bounce back to some semblance of normalcy again. I am using the suite of products advertised at the top of this blog page. The material in the Subliminal Cookbook and NVision permit the subconscious to be programmed in a manner that sets the conscious mind aside, out of the loop, into the background.
I am going to be writing more about this in subsequent blog posts, but what it gets down to is that something like 90% percent of human life is actually programmed, determined, influenced, etc. by our subconscious, not by the conscious mind. This flies in the face of conventional wisdom, but it nevertheless is the fact of the matter. For that reason, implementing any desired change in life -- like regaining the normal use of the feet, toes and ankles -- requires the active engagement of the subconscious mind.
But how to pragmatically do that ? Well, it turns out you have to communicate directly with the subconscious and groove it with a new program that you insert, and overlay whatever programming glitch that may be there with a healing, integrative program. The Subliminal Cookbook and NVision are specifically developed to target the subconscious. It takes some time, a lot of repetition, and the correct technique. So I am working with this process and I am gradually progressing. I can discern a deep, slow change or turning at a more profound level of my being. It is hard to put into words, perhaps because the subconscious is more emotional, feeling and visual than verbal. It does respond to language, though it tends to be very childlike and literal in its level of understanding. That is why you use short, positive, direct, first person affirmations when programming the subconscious. It is very powerful, yet literal minded and childlike. So you keep it simple, direct, positive and personal. After awhile, after months of hearing the same thing over and over, the subconscious decides, "O.K., there is a change in plan! S/he is really serious about this." And it begins to implement the new program, the more so as the instructions are being given in the Master's Voice, i.e., your voice.
It turns out that your subconscious is always listening to you, listening for guidance and direction. Most people are ignorant and confused and so they naturally confuse their subconscious with a welter of confusing, ignorant signals, instructions, ideas, thoughts and commands, with the inevitable result that they lead massively dysfunctional lives. Look at the plague of crime, dysfunctional families, substance abuse, corrupt business and politics, absurd popular culture, and more. This is the product of faulty (or malicious) subconscious programming by individuals themselves, but also by Hollywood, religion, schools, corporations, government, the military, mass media, popular culture and more.
On the level of nutrition, my lengthy hospitalization impressed on me anew the importance of a healthy diet. The quality and quantity of the hospital food was really deficient and I lost a lot of weight as a consequence. Since my release from the hospital I have put some pounds back on and regained quite a bit of strength. For years and years I have been a lacto-ovo-vegetarian, so I am sticking with that. It is an affordable diet that I can readily obtain in Ecuador and which keeps me in good health, with a good energy level.
My diet includes many whole foods, a lot of it raw. I eat the items listed below in plentiful quantities. There are some modern supermarkets in Ecuador of the sort that you see in the USA, notwithstanding I get a lot of my food at the traditional markets or smaller shops where viveres are sold. The markets and smaller shops are part of Latin culture, and they also frequently have lower prices than the supermarkets for comparable items.
red and/or yellow bell peppers
celery (I eat it all, including the leaves)
aloe vera (I eat the raw pulp from the whole plant)
red, black or purple grapes
yogurt without sugar
dried squash seeds
cinnamon (I buy packets of the dried, raw bark in the markets)
stevia (I buy the dried leaves from sidewalk vendors)
raw alfalfa juice
raw carrot juice
bok choy (called Chinese turnip or turnip in Ecuador)
For fruits like apples, pears, tangerines and grapes, I usually eat the seeds, which are rich in vitamin B-17. I crunch them right up. I sometimes eat the seeds of the papaya, too, even though they are not very palatable, because they have potent medicinal properties.
The diet seems to suit me, because I continue to heal, albeit at a slow pace. The doctors here have variously told me that the nerves repair at the rate of one millimeter, or alternatively, three millimeters per month. At any rate, nerve regeneration and/or repair is a very slow process, so given the extent of the physical trauma I endured I am not surprised to still be recuperating feeling, movement, flexibility and strength, more than a year after the assault.
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